You didn't see a thing. You can't prove any of it.
Stop playing on the computer and go get us some food.
Psssst!
Free Love Available at Pinterest wants you to adopt, foster, help, donate to, or at least tell others that there are some best
friends waiting for you at your local animal shelter, and there may be a nearby animal rescue group whose site is online.
First you have to drive there. And you
have to get your kids in the car, and they don't want to go. They have plenty of room in the car, but they'd still rather
pester each other because they love to fight so much, you're
wondering if it's because they know it makes you crazy. It doesn't take long before they're wailing "He's touching me!" and
then "She pushed over too far!" They each claim the other is taking up the whole back seat, then they go at it smacking at
each other. Usually while you're trying to find a place to park.
You've put off going, then absolutely have to go replace
something that stopped working (just when the warranty ran out). You have to buy a lot of other stuff because you've put off
going. The cart wheels don't roll right, then the cart gets too heavy and you have to get the kids to help. But then, you
can't find the aisle the thing you had to buy is in, and the kids keep going right when you want to go left.
You find
the aisle but then can't find the right thing, at least not what you're willing to buy. Even the expensive ones are all made
out of plastic and sure to fall apart. Then you'll have to come back and go through this again...and again. So you take what
you've settled for and find the checkout. There are 25 cash registers and only 2 clerks. Repeat what happened in the car,
only this time stuff is getting knocked off the shelves. You want to pretend they aren't yours and leave them at the store.
Then you feel guilty for thinking it and you let yourself get badgered into buying some candy and you think, “maybe
they'll behave better on the way home.” It's a bribe. You're giving them sweets, even though it's rewarding them for
behaving like brats.
You also feel guilty because the clerk is shooting dirty looks your way because of all the stuff
they've knocked on the floor. So you buy them candy hoping maybe they won't make you have a wreck on the way home...
In the car, your kid says, "Mommy, there's a worm in my lollipop!