War is Crazy: Finding Humor in the Face of Terror
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Understating the Obvious

"There's tension in the world with people who believe in solving things through violence, and there are other people who are really upset about this." -- Yoko Ono, From Lennon's Peace Message Still Strong

Public Walking Tours of the White House Resume After 2-Year, Terror-Induced Hiatus

Interested Tourists May Apply Now For Security Clearance. Please note that all tours must be scheduled well in advance. Eligibility is limited to fourth generation United States citizens who pass muster in a standard Patriot Act worth assessment. Please use the INSTANT FBI SECURITY CHECK form provided to receive your Verification Code Number.

Other articles at White House.org

 

Pleasanton Veterans Dowse for Terrorists
Classes on ancient practice to be held at Veterans Building

California Veterans groups, concerned about doing their part for homeland security, have invited a dowser to teach them to use divining rods to identify terrorists. One of them is quoted as saying:

"In the world of homeland security, you have to be more open-minded in looking for solutions. You can't wait for the FBI and police to come up with solutions when you have the bad guys living among us."

The dowsing instructor claims to have trained U.S. Marines to find enemy tunnels during the Vietnam War. Although students have been charged as much as $95 previously, the training session at the Veterans Building will only cost $10.

The Amazing Randi, a stage magician turned paranormal-claims debunker, says that those paying to take the course "might have more entertainment by shredding their money into confetti and throwing it at the next wedding they attend. They will learn nothing from it."

War Is Crazy

A sampling of the contents of links to anti-war stories gathered by Rob Brezsny for his "Free Will Astrology Newsletter"

Bush Convinced God Wants Him to Engage the Forces of Evil

"We are in a conflict between good and evil. And America will call evil by its name." ~ George W. Bush

Before September 11, President George W Bush kept his evangelical Christian beliefs largely to himself. Those close to Mr Bush say that day he discovered his life's mission. He became convinced that God was calling him to engage the forces of evil in battle


Army Chaplain Will Only Allow American Soldiers to Bathe in Army Water Pool If They Become Baptized

"It's simple. They want water. I have it, as long as they agree to get baptized."


U.S. Forms Own U.N.

Frustrated with the United Nations' "consistent, blatant regard for the will of its 188 member nations," the U.S. announced Monday the formation of its own international governing body, the U.S.U.N.

What's Taking So Long?

"I don't think my dad's war took this long, and we've got much better weapons now," Bush said. "I talked to him on the phone the other day and, although he didn't say it, I could tell he was disappointed that I'm not doing it faster than him."

Messianic War Cult

Scott Ritter, the Republican ex-Marine who hounded Saddam's secret weapons group for several years, has warned: "The national security of the United States of America has been hijacked by a handful of neo-conservatives who are using their position of authority to pursue their own ideologically-driven political ambitions."

Ritter's warning may be understated. The neoconservatives, or "neocons," are some of the most dangerous menaces to America's destiny to come along. Moreover, they are a grave danger to the peace, progress, and security of much of humanity. And their true agenda has features of something that few, if any, have called by a designation that is as alarming as it is accurate: a cult.

Briefing for a Descent into Hell

A wide-eyed extraterrestrial is instructed about how a man named Bush became the most powerful leader on Earth -- and how he led the planet into chaos.

Saddam Speech Suspiciously Mentions Nelly Song from Last Summer

The CIA announced Monday that it suspects Saddam Hussein's latest televised address was pre-recorded, pointing to its suspiciously dated reference to Nelly's "Hot In Here," a rap hit from the summer of 2002.

"For the enemy invaders of Iraq, it soon will get truly hot in here," Hussein said in the speech, which was televised worldwide Monday. "No amount of clothing removal will be sufficient to withstand the fiery inferno that awaits them on the battlefield."

Support Anti-War Musicians

Now that the right has knocked the Dixie Chicks off of the #1 country charts for their rather benign statements supporting peace (lead singer Natalie Maines said to a concert crowd in London, "Just so you know, we're ashamed the President is from Texas"), let's strike back by making the Dixie Chicks #1 on the national charts. As antiwar music fan Toby Barlow says, "Let's show that you can't publicly tar and feather people just because they dare to object to bombing cities and killing people."

Weasel Watch

Those Iraqi archives are starting to yield interesting information about America's pro-Saddam erstwhile allies. London's Sunday Telegraph reports it has obtained documents from the Baghdad intelligence headquarters that show "Germany's intelligence services attempted to build closer links to Saddam's secret service during the build-up to war last year":

"[The documents] show that an agent named as Johannes William Hoffner, described as a "new German representative in Iraq" who had entered the country under diplomatic cover, attended a meeting with Lt. Gen Taher Jalil Haboosh, the director of Iraq's intelligence service.

During the meeting, on January 29, 2002, Lt. Gen Haboosh says that the Iraqis are keen to have a relationship with Germany's intelligence agency "under diplomatic cover," adding that he hopes to develop that relationship through Mr. Hoffner.

The German replies: "My organization wants to develop its relationship with your organization."

In return, the Iraqis offered to give lucrative contracts to German companies if the Berlin government helped prevent an American invasion of the country."

CNN reports that Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder believes "U.S.-German relations were not seriously damaged by the difference of opinions over war in Iraq." Schroeder tells Der Spiegel that he has "very much regretted" his anti-American "exaggerated utterances," but "the difference of opinions, as serious as they may be, does not damage the trans-Atlantic relationship." -- By James Taranto, OpinionJournal

 
Dolphins and the Military

In a move that has outraged many animal-rights activists, the U.S. Navy is using dolphins to find underwater mines in Iraqi harbors.

Some comments:

  • "I gave up canned tuna for the dolphins, and now they're just blowing them to shit?"
  • "I support the U.S. dolphin military program. For many dolphins, the G.I. Bill is the only way they can afford college."
  • "This is the military. We should be amazed they're not using baby chicks."

Check out the full story at this URL and tell us, what do you think?


The List of Lies

"Here is a list of the serial lying from the Bush Regime about Iraq, including links to a cross section of all the news sources. It's nowhere near a complete list, and you probably already knew about most of these lies, but its a great list to send any annoying dittohead who buys into this fake war."

Absurdities and Contradictions

The dreariest, most uninformed words used over and over are those comparing Hussein to Hitler and diplomacy to appeasement. There is no comparison, except in the minds of those who know little history but insist on repeating phrases like "history repeats itself," having very little idea as to what they are saying.

The Power of Propaganda and Lies

Rumours and half-truths have been seized on and presented as facts with enormous propaganda power. As the tide of war, and of information, moves on, to recall what was true and what was not has often been difficult.


Make Wanderlust, Not War

Americans should stop listening to the fear-mongers and travel overseas. It's the best way to start bringing the U.S. back into the world community.

Anti-War Songs

Anti war related songs, most with clips, covers, albums, writers and links to lyrics and/or audio downloads from many protest music genres. Some songs written or remixed for the 2003 attack on Iraq.

Throwing Stones for Peace
URL to "Throwing Stones for Peace"
...and other tales of activism.

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